| by comrade commissar | Thomas | @ Saturday, April 02, 2005, 9:57:00 PM | permalink |
|
Sunday (13th March) 8:45am - Left Pulau Tekong after finishing 24 hour guard duty. Decided to go to church. No time to go home for a change.. Ugh, just go there in my army uniform lah. 10:45am - Reached church. Not going back to change was a good choice, had enough time to attend the second service. Slightly conscious of my appearance, but walked in. Instead of attending the adult service, I went down to the basement where the Kids' Church was. Pleasant memories return with every step. The sights & sounds of children, most of all, the warm greeting from all the good old folks. Its good to be back with the family. Its great to be back. 11am - The second session started. A quick welcome, games, then praise & worship, the comforting routine that had faded away in my head becomes familar again. I caught sight of a guy in military camouflage, a symbol of no-nonsense, bitterness, aggressiveness, vulgarities, dumb chauvinism. I'm suddenly reminded of all the times I felt different when I am in & out of army uniform, like another person. I hate this chronic, ugly, dull person I was slowly turning into in the army. I hate my complainings, giving ups, weaknesses. I hate having only FHM, MAXIM, NewMan, hollow crap to read when I ask around. I hate being slowly influenced into becoming yet another horny, lonely, boring, uninteresting, typical Singaporean male. I realised that the guy in army camo was myself, jumping about, clapping, cheering, child-like, happy, singing with my good old church mates, breaking out of the army uniform. I realised that when I am weak & burdened, I can turn to Jesus. Beneath green, black & brown, I don't have to lose myself. The uniform does not wear me. |
PS: If you're commenting Anonymously please sign off with your name/nick. Thanks.
[+] Post a Comment
...
