|
recent entries (in order) |
|
<--latest post-- bleah.--1st 2 wks at Sungei Gedong--thoughts & musings over long wkend break--that's $4.50 spent on public transport--bye SISPEC bye Echo--i've accepted a place @ NUS's FASS..--to see my plain sunset--i'm sorry you're wrong--help yourself to the arms too--i slept on the MRT for 3 whole hours. (7+pm - 10:0...-- --last post--> |
| by comrade commissar | Thomas | @ Friday, July 01, 2005, 9:28:00 PM | permalink |
|
It's been another loooong week. I come home tired but elated, put down my stuff and popped into the toilet for a nice hot bath. Feeling good, I finish up drying my hair, walking back to my room- The knob on my door is gone. I don't mean its damaged. I mean "there used to be a knob but now there's an open hole and I can see into my room through it" WTF. --- Age 9. My dad brought us on a rare outing to Pasir Ris NTUC Club. (its known as Downtown East now) Like a typical kid, I saw the humongous swimming pool, changed double quick time, and leaped headlong into the waters. Woo! Big splash! The rest of the kids were playing with supersoakers, but I didn't mind! It was unforgettable.. What fun! A little more than 30 minutes later my father's booming voice reviberated across the vast artificial ocean. The sound waves hit the concrete and resonate aloud anew, and the hundred and one people who were there (plus me) learn with dismay that I go home - NOW. Age 11. I used to play with Lego alot. Piece by piece I created little worlds and fashioned miniature kingdoms. In the accumulated hours days and months with every new building project I start and finish, I lived out my childhood dreams through the little plastic men and their multicoloured brick world.. Of course, most of the things I make from Lego are tanks and turrets. Cartoons have that effect. But what was significant about this hobby of mine was how I used to imagine that one of them was me, strong, great, mighty, conceiving new conceptions which in turn molded bits of my personality. This avatar of me lived in this ideal world I created, where we flew in spaceships all day long, forever embarking on noble quests in which we always triumphed, and at the end of the day, returning back to my perfect kingdom of peace and chivalry. It was constructive creativity, and I placed the entire neighbourhood built on half a dozen Lego plates on top of my clothes cardboard. One day I come home after school to find the whole thing dragged off from the top and completely shattered at the foot of my room's floor. My 2 younger brothers told me that after numerous threats before, Dad finally went ahead and smacked everything down in a fit comparable to a pagan god's. I stared hard at the barely recognisable bits on the ground. I think 'me' laid motionless somewhere in the rubble, buried and existence disrupted. Age 15/16. I switched on my computer one day and I couldn't get online. After countless troubleshootings, asking around the house for 2-3 days, Dad nonchalantly told me he cancelled the connection. Thanks man. I think Mr. Healthy Dad & Son Relationship got lost somewhere many years ago. --- I went straight to the man and asked him what the fuck is that hole doing there instead of my knob. I don't know what happened over the week while I was at camp, could be 1 of the brothers did something. I don't care. I ask him why can't I have some peace of mind and privacy when I come back, and not have to have shit like this. He said something about keeping an eye on us and curbing pornography. That really brought the vitriol to spewing point. Listen up, I don't have no porn on my PC. And. I'm 20, you are 40+ already, so please let me know beforehand if you want to do funny crap like this. The message I'm getting from that hole in my door is that you don't respect me at all, and that I might as well change in the living room. What the heck, I can even apply your policy and walk into your room when you are changing. Works both ways right? He changes the subject, spluttering at this point that if I don't like the way things are, I can move out and reside at camp instead. He can then rent the room out to get some much needed cash. The absurdity overwhelms me. Nice! I say, You have worked so many years and after all that you can be in this state where you can think of your son as an interference for an income generating opportunity. A few hundred dollars a month! You make it sound like you can't provide for the family! Something snapped and I see the humour of the situation. I laugh because its not funny when I tell him that I can now not only worry about how to pay for my uni fees in the future but can also look forward to being homeless when I don't even have a steady income yet. The anger-euphoria stirs up weird things, I'm chuckling so hard by now I think I'm insane. Haha! This is great! Come on, let's go tell uncle so-and-so, better still, let's go tell your father! You thought about kicking your son out while he's still doing NS cos' he's taking up rent space! I don't even need my surname! Might as well be a Lim or something else, swap dads even- Then brain makes abrupt gear switch to 'Clarity'. Screw his empty threat, go back to main point. I didn't have that mad grin anymore when I said "I expect a lock on that door when I come home next week. I'm not kidding, I'm serious." |
PS: If you're commenting Anonymously please sign off with your name/nick. Thanks.
[+] Post a Comment
...|
recent entries (in order) |
|
<--latest post-- bleah.--1st 2 wks at Sungei Gedong--thoughts & musings over long wkend break--that's $4.50 spent on public transport--bye SISPEC bye Echo--i've accepted a place @ NUS's FASS..--to see my plain sunset--i'm sorry you're wrong--help yourself to the arms too--i slept on the MRT for 3 whole hours. (7+pm - 10:0...-- --last post--> |
